last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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