The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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