She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
