it hurts more in the daytime
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
