drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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