put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
