I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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