Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
