god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
