my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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