I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
