if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
