Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
