There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
