Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize