we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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