Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
