Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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