Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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