Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
