FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
