Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
