He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
