Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
