You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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