White coat. Heels.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
