oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
