She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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