Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she smelled like a LAN party
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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