I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So. Much. Porn.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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