smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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