turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
