Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
