super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
