so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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