My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have post one night stand depression
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
