I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
