Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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