Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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