This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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