Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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