Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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