According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
