no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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