are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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