gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
