I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
