Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
