I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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