in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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