how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
