Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
