OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
