A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
