i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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