i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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