I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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