She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
