Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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