Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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